Married Yet Lonely: Spotting the Signs of a Relationship on the Rocks


When two starry-eyed lovers stand before family and friends to recite promises and make solemn vows, they’re certainly not thinking that their union will someday come to a screeching halt. Newly married couples have the best of intentions and believe with all their hearts that their love will last happily ever after. Unfortunately, that’s not always the way things work out. Sure, some marriages may reach an impasse and still be resolved. Other marriages are simply doomed, no matter what the couple does or doesn’t do.

If you searched for this article, you may be wondering if your own marriage might be in trouble. Truth is, many couples argue. Some even separate for a short time. This doesn’t necessarily mean divorce is on the horizon. There are, however, a few red flags that every married couple ought to be aware of.

Spotting the signs

Each marriage comes with its own set of delights and problems, so it’s really impossible to say just which sorts of situations are certain signs of a relationship on the rocks. There are, however, some typical symptoms of a ruined relationship that you might want to watch out for. Any couple that stops communicating or showing affection may be in big trouble, say the love and marriage gurus at MamaMia magazine. When one partner wants to talk things out and the other walks out of the room, it’s a very good sign that the relationship is doomed.

When one half of a once-happy and intimate couple turns to secret confidants outside of the marriage in lieu of talking to the person they married, red flags are waving. If you are interested in seeing a marriage counselor and your mate balks at the idea, they may be unwilling to repair the rift in your relationship. When only one partner wants to fix problems, it’s a sure sign the marriage is in trouble. A refusal to see the other’s point of view is a sure sign that a once smooth-sailing marriage may be headed for the rocks. Unwillingness to compromise is a leading cause of marital trouble and eventual dissolution.

Top reasons marriages fail

Sex, money, communication and an empty nest are among the main reasons marriages come apart, say relationship experts at Cosmopolitan magazine. If one person earns all the money, and the other partner does most of the spending, money issues could bring a resentful end to any relationship. If one person loses physical desire for the other, this can bring on a sort of loneliness that may be resolved in the arms of another. Likewise is one spouse looks for romance outside the marriage. Infidelity is very hard to overcome and its repercussion may well be divorce.

Withholding affection and subsequent extramarital affairs are a major reason for the undoing of even long term marriages. When battling spouses refuse to compromise in any way, it may be too late to save the marriage. If this happens to you, you may wish to seek the advice of a competent divorce attorney at Maley & Nicholas or a law firm in your area.

Relationship experts at  Huffington Post note that many couples come apart due to unmet expectations or one partner wishing (or demanding) that the other change. Codependent couples without their own well-defined identities may one day find themselves wondering what happened to their once-happy lives and decide to call it quits. Couples who don’t share similar goals may grow apart in irreparable ways. If your house is full of nagging, complaining, sighing and spouses generally wishing they were somewhere else, it may be time to place a call to an experienced family law attorney.

“We just grew apart”

Divorce attorneys hear this all the time. Spouses are not angry with one another; they simply find themselves at a point in their lives where it’s time to take different paths. When there is no animosity, parting partners may even remain friendly for the rest of their lives. When couples marry too young, they are at increased risk of this sort of coming apart in the future. Of course, some couples who marry as teenagers do go on to enjoy very long, very successful unions.

If you and your once-beloved have reached the end of your marital path, you’re not alone. More than half of all marriages end in divorce these days. If it happens to you, move forward and better luck to you next time.

Faith Coles works as a marriage therapist, helping couples decide if they can repair their marriage or if it’s better to walk away. She shares her thoughts on a variety of self-help and relationship sites.