How to Reconnect When you Feel Like Roommates


If you’re in a long-term relationship, it can sometimes feel like the romance is long gone. Instead, your focus is on the responsibilities of your shared existence: children, bills, and sometimes just the monotony of daily life. This can have a subtle yet devastating ripple effect through the various aspects of your relationship.

Many couples report that they start to feel like roommates rather than a couple after a certain point. Fortunately, it is possible to reconnect and rekindle the romance if both participants in the relationship choose to do so. Here’s how to reconnect when your relationship lacks luster.

Have a Relationship Audit

Conducting an audit of your relationship will allow you and your partner to share what aspects of your partnership are working and what’s failing. It also presents you with an opportunity to share your goals, dreams, and wishes for the future. Are your values still aligned? Are you heading in the same direction? What can you do to help each other get there?

The challenge of conducting a relationship audit is that you might discover you want completely different things for your future and that plans have changed since you last spoke. However, it’s better to know and be able to make a plan going forward than to discover a problem years down the road.

Prioritize Intimacy

Sex and intimacy play a significant role in relationships and can become part of a vicious cycle. As romantic feelings abate, whether due to stress, arguing, or exhaustion, as can bedroom habits and opportunities to be intimate. On the other hand, as intimacy and sexual relations waiver, so can romantic feelings.

Find a way to prioritize intimacy. Create habits, like sending a flirtatious text message each morning, to scheduling phone-free time in the evenings. Pick up some new toys at TheAdultToyShop and try new and exciting things. It may take time to build momentum, but if you stick to the plan, you should see benefits in all aspects of your relationship.

Take Time to Appreciate Their Actions

Sometimes in relationships, we start to take our partners for granted and forget to thank each other for the efforts made each day. For example, if your spouse does the dishes, it ultimately benefits both of you. Simply acknowledging the task and saying “thank you” will empower your partner and help them feel noticed and appreciated.

Rather than saying thank you each time they do a chore, leave a note in their lunch or somewhere you know they’ll see it the next day. The note can briefly share your appreciation for their hard work and efforts to make your life together great. This simple gesture can improve their day and make things easier when you reunite in the evening.

Ask Questions

You and your partner aren’t expected to have all the same interests. However, for your relationship to work, you need to take time to appreciate each other’s different ideas and hobbies. Ask questions that will encourage your partner to talk about themselves beyond a simple “how was your day?” when they return home.

Ask questions like, “what did you work on today?” and “what was one good thing and one bad thing about your day?” to open the lines of communication. Listen attentively as they talk about a subject they are passionate about, even if you don’t understand why they love that particular thing so much. Better yet, take the initiative to get a better understanding of the subject so you can carry on a high-level conversation. Remember, communication should be a two-way street, so you should also feel comfortable talking about your unique interests too.

The main theme of reconnecting with your significant other is communication. Whether spoken or non-verbal, open communication is the foundation of a long-lasting, successful relationship.